Ali and Diana

To Ali-

I enjoyed reading your blogs. I read your about me section first and I thought to myself that your blogs would be an interesting read, I myself enjoy comedy very much. After reading your first blogs it seemed like you were trying a little too hard to make it comedical. (I think I made up that word, but it works.) That was until I read your "Stopped Short" blog post. The punchline at the end was pretty funny, and I didn't expect it until halfway through the last story. I give you major props for that story, it's defiantly in my top three. Then I read your "360" story, that became my favorite story of yours. The perspective you used, making your 360 a puppy/girlfriend was pretty funny, and how it wanted you to switch to high def at the end...great stuff. After those stories I pretty much enjoyed the rest of the stories, very light and funny.

There is one error that you have throughout your blogs. I often fall for this error too, so its not that big of a deal. You tend to you more then one tense when writing a story. One minute you'll be talking like your there and the next is like it was an event in the past. You just have to keep an eye out for that. Also, near the end of your blog you seemed to be destracted and not post some of the post. I enjoyed your stories, so you shouldn't have skipped them.

I think you did a great job in developing your humor, and your grammar also developed more throughout the class.


To Diana-

First I have to start off by saying that you are brave for volenteering at the hospital. I'm not sure how much patient contact you have, but sick, hurt, and the old are not that pleasant to be around, yet you keep such a happy demenor about it. I enjoyed your blogs, how you started off wanting to express yourself more. After reading a couple of blogs I could tell that you started to open up a bit more, especially in "Spending Time with Papi". This was such a warm story, you opened up quite a bit.

I also enjoyed the story "Eventually Took It's Toll." This story added just the right emotion, it was great. In the end I wanted to sit on the couch just to comfort it. It also brought back memories of my old couch that was recently discarded. The next story that I enjoyed was "Short Lived." It shows how much is on a college students mind, and how easy it is to be distracted. A little while after that I could tell that blog post became more homework and was put off a little. But all your stories were still good.

I think that you need to add more detail into your stories. You're good at explaining what is going on in a certain scene, but you sometimes leave out details. I think you should just add a touch more personality, like your final blog post had, and more descreption and you would be golden. It was a pleasure to read your blog post.

french greenbeans

“I think the first thing on the list is pork roast…why are we getting pork roast?” I asked my girlfriend Alyssa.
“Because your family likes it remember? That’s all your dad cooks for me when I come over, so I’m guessing that’s a safe bet.” she replied. This grocery trip was already taking forever, Alyssa had to get everything ready to go to the grocery story. I never understood the concept of making a list, especially when we only needed to get a couple of items. Standing in the frozen food aisle, I realized I was starting to space out as Alyssa grabbed the roast out of the freezer.
“What’s next?” I asked, trying to hurry up the process.
“Potatoes, which one should I get, the garlic or the Italian seasoned?” Alyssa questioned.
“Aren’t those the same? I guess my family likes garlic more, my mom can’t get enough of the stuff.” I took the packet of seasoning and threw it into the cart.
“Goal!” I yelled running down the aisle.
“Come on, what’s next?” Her voice was getting tense, annoyed at my antics.
“Green beans. Don’t we have some of those?“ I asked Alyssa.
“No, I threw those away like three days ago” She Rebutted. As we walked over to the vegetables aisle, I started remembering last Thanksgiving dinner when my dad made those green beans with the French crunchy onions on top.
“Hey babe, can we get those crunchy onion thingies that go on top?” I asked in remembrance of my beloved dish.
“No, we are making steamed green beans with lemon.” She was very adamant about the dinner she was making, everything had to be perfect.
“Fine, I was just kidding anyways!” I lied, I really wanted the French onions. I waited watching Alyssa’s every move, waiting for my moment to escape and retrieve my onions. It seemed like decades before she finally was distracted by some random object. I bolted down the hall, pushing over everything in my way, I was determined to get them before she turned back around. Unfortunately, whatever she was looking at wasn’t that interesting and she caught me just as I got back.
“Drats! I know, I know. I’m putting them back” I walked away slowly defeat.
“I got the beans, what’s next?” Alyssa grew even more impatient with me.
“Salad! And that’s it.” I was glad that I could finally throw away Alyssa’s dumb list. “I hope we never move again, I hate cooking for my family, there’s too many people!”
“Don’t worry Blake it’ll be fine trust me!” She was trying to comfort me but it didn’t work, I still didn’t want to cook dinner.

French Braid

It was my first night of playing ultimate Frisbee at the park with a bunch of guys. When I first came, I told myself that it would be a piece of cake, but I was wrong. Guarding my girlfriend Alyssa became quite the challenge, unfortunately her secret competitive side was showing that particular night, and I was trying not to be to rough with her. The score came down to 11-11, and it ends when a team reaches 13. It was kick off, the opposing team was throwing, and wincing off in the night sky I spotted the shimmering light up Frisbee gliding through the air. Landing a couple feet behind me I let my teammate pick it up, I rushed down the field in a rush.
“Bro, right here man!” I yelled, as I saw him hover the Frisbee in my direction. My adrenaline was rushing, I could feel the sweat dripping from my brow as I sprinted toward the Frisbee. When I came within a foot I reached out my hand hoping that I could somehow manage to save the catch, it brushed across my finger tips.

He had it, there was nothing I could do to stop him. As Blake ran toward the Frisbee, he reached out his hand and it was over, touchdown.
“Good job, this time.” I said sarcastically, “next time I won’t let you get by me.”
“Ha, right! Try to keep up.” When competing Blake can sometimes become a jerk. I wasn’t going to let that keep me down the, they were throwing off and it was my turn for offense. 3, 2, 1, the Frisbee was thrown as I ran down to mid field. I could see the light of the Frisbee making its way up, person to person, small passes was the way my team played, and it was coming straight for me. I looked around to check where Blake was, and couldn’t find him, so I went for it. Swiftly maneuvered my way toward the Frisbee but it turned angles and was heading toward the ground. Trying to be quick on my feet I dove for it, and when I stood up my hands trembled when I realized I caught it.

The catch by Alyssa was amazing, her first time playing and she actually dove for the Frisbee. I invited Alyssa and Blake for a couple of weeks now, and every time Alyssa would answer, “Next week ill defiantly come!” I’m glad she did, we were one point down and she made a caught that I’m sure no one would of made. I ran down the field going to the long pass, hoping Alyssa would see me.
“Eric!” Alyssa screamed, I turned around to find the Frisbee heading strait towards me.
“I got it!” or at least I thought, the guy who has been covering me is extremely fast, I mean cheetah speed., he knocked it down right in front of my face.

I saw that Bro had stolen the disk from Eric, so once again I made my way down field. I felt like someone punched me in the stomach, every step hurt my lungs, I was getting out of shape. As I turned towards Bro I saw the Frisbee drift right pass my head. At that instant, I hoping to God that I didn’t miss the game winning throw. As I looked toward where the Frisbee would go I realized it was to another guy further down the field, he caught it. My first game of ultimate Frisbee and I had already beat my girlfriend.

Living Situations

Family House
“Eat your dinner, I know how many vegetables I put on your plate and you have to eat them all!” The infinite struggle between father and offspring, often called dinner time. Dinner at my place usually begin with menial conversations, then transitioned into an all out war between parents and children. This night was different, my sister Cara wouldn’t budge.
“I ate all of them! See look none left.” she said lying through her teeth, but my dad soon spotted out the carrots hiding underneath her napkin.
“Really, then you would enjoy just one more spoonful, no?” My dad has a way to catch you lying, and turn the tables on you with out a second’s delay. Sitting in silence Cara sat staring at her vegetables, hoping that some how they would just disappear.
While discipline could be a bit harsh around the Dunn household, it always came with its rewards. My dad, being an aspiring cook, would always try to come up with the most delectable dishes, that would always satisfy. Not only was the food good, but if you earned the parental trust, you could practically get away with murder. I remember persuading my parents out of punishing me for breaking curfew or righting an essay to show them that I knew what I was talking about. There was just one rule that none of my siblings could break, and that was finishing dinner.
“Come on Cara, as soon as you eat them, this will all be over!” I encouraged Cara just to eat them and let it be over.
“They are so gross though, I can’t swallow!” Cara started making a gagging sound to illustrate her struggles.
“Well if you eat them with a mouthful of water you can’t taste them.” With this promise Cara slowly staggered through her vegetables and made it through the night.

Dormitory
Living in a dorm, everyone has had one person that drove them absolutely insane, mine was my suite mate Travis. He drove me crazy, not only was he a whiney, pompous ass, but he would never even acknowledge my existence. As I sat watching my 16” television, I heard a tremendous whining sound coming through the vents. It became almost a daily annoyance, some how he managed to make my whole wall shake with his excessively loud sound system.
“Turn it down” I yelled banging on the wall, but it was of no use. Even if he did hear my plea, he was to stubborn to submit to it.
“He’s not going to listen to you, he never does.” My roommate Stephen has lost that battle too many time, and became frustrated with even trying.
“Well, not this time, this is war!” I declared, moving my guitar amplifier to the wall. I started playing, the amp’s volume was only half way, I was sure that he would get the point and turn down the music a little, but I was wrong. Travis then continued to turn the music up even louder.
“How the hell is it getting louder, what type of speakers does he have!” I protested.
I knew that if I didn’t take action that second that Travis would declare himself the winner, and that didn’t’ fit right with me. So I turned my amp back to the wall and continued to play.
“It’s not working you need to get louder” Stephen shouted to me, he had his ear pressed against the wall and could hear Travis laughing.
“Well, I’ll give it all I got” I continued to turn my amp’s volume up. I got up to 7 and I swear that the wall was going to crumble from the two opposing vibrations, but I was determined. It reach 9 when Francis my CA came busting through the door.
“What are you doing! Don’t you know its quite hours! One more note and you be written up so fast!” Francis snarled.
“But Travis, he was playing music and…”I didn’t even get to finish my sentence.
“I know notice how its quite now, I talked to him first, now one more note and I swear.”
“Okay, sorry Francis, I’ll stop.” I said with a huge grin on my face. Travis succumbed to Francis first, meaning I won.

Apartment
I always thought that moving out to my own apartment was going to be great. I would just hang around with my friends all day, playing video games, throwing the football around, it was going to be amazing. Little did I know how the real world worked. Homework became the first problem, trying to find time to have fun, work and still keep up with homework was going to be a challenge. As time went by things worked themselves out and everything started to feel like paradise. That’s when I started having problems with the land lady Erica, the princess of darkness herself. Erica has lied to me and my roommates so many times that I lost count on my fingers and toes, about the price we had to pay, what damages came with the apartment, so on and so forth. It was just horrible living in her establishment.
Then one day I discovered that the electricity bill and water bill had doubled.
“Well, how the hell did this happen?” I was confused because I didn’t use any more water or electricity then last month.
“I don’t know but we have to talk to her!” My roommate Tom replied. We both knew exactly who ‘she’ was and it was the last person we would ever want to see.
“No! I don’t want to she’s just going to lie to us again!” I protested, but I knew it was the only way to solve the problem. After gathering all our bills, we were ready to face her, confident that nothing has changed except some error on her part. We crept up to the office door, and knocked. As we knocked panic grew over me, and soon I felt the intense desire to just run away. Looking over at me Tom nodded, assuring me that we would be the inevitable winner of this battle.
“Hello guys, what can I help you with?” the devil screeched. Soon I felt the rush over me panic again, but this time it was too late, she lured us into her office. After explaining our problem, and presenting our evidence, she snarled.
“Well, I see where you got mixed up, you see you never paid the opening bill.” Erica’s answer didn’t just frustrated me further.
“What opening bill, you never told us about an opening bill!” Tom replied, having great confidence in his answer.
“Yeah.” I repeated showing my support for his answer.
“Well, let me see what I can do.” She was lying, and we called her out. She quickly started typing into her computer and making mmmhhmmm noises as if she was finding some useful information that would help her case. After about five minutes she came back with answer.
“Don’t be mad at me, I’ll just take the money off, as long as you guys promise to not do it again.” She bargained.
“Fine, that’s cool.” Now Tom and I knew that the charge was bogus and she was just trying to cover up for it. This day we won a small battle, but little did we know there would be more to come.

My poem, that doesn't rhyme

“Do you believe in a religion?” Every Sunday I look back at the monotonous days in which I would go to church. It wasn’t always bad when your younger, all the older people went into service, passing though the huge rustic doors, you were able to enjoy your time doing some random arts and craft activity. The smell of glue would fill the air, and glitter would cover your feet. Usually the Sunday school teacher would drone on and on about some prayer , I just focused on her desk and hoping that today she would finally let us use the cotton balls that have been silently sitting there all year..
Sooner or later thought it all faded away, nothing but a vast memory, as I was pushed through the dreaded confirmation classes. The smell of glue vanished with the on set of freshly sharpened pencils. The teacher also changed, she made us pay attention, claiming that God is watching my every move. Even with that in mind, my wooden pencil would find a way to become lost on the paper drawing figures and faces that had nothing to do with Jesus. This ritual would continue weekly, seeming to be wasting away my Sunday into nothing more then mere doodle sessions, that is until the day you become confirmed.
Standing on the stage in a rather clerical white robe, sitting, standing, waiting to recite your text from the holy book. Looking over the crowd, I noticed that no one was wearing a smile except my rather cheerful parents. Holding up there cheap Kodak cameras, the ones that you would just throw away once you finished using, just sitting in anticipation for my dreaded moment. Then it came, I stood, knees shaking, hoping that I would not forget a line, and then it was over. The very moment that I had been preparing for was finally over, the room stood still and everything was quite except the constant flickering of candles, it all was over.
Since then going to church hasn’t been so mundane, partly since I work Sundays, but also because I’m going on my own terms.

Two stories that I can talk about are...

English is not one of my strong suits, but I try none the less. I have enjoyed only a small handful of the stories that we were assigned to read in class. One of those stories is called Three Fragments by Charles Simic. This story has a lot of voice, you can tell what is going through the writers head at any moment. Also, this story has a contrast of emotions that area all tied in together. Personally I think that it is a great story. What I would like to take from it is the contrast of emotions. In the beginning he is telling a humorous story about how he once had a helmet full of lice. At the end of the story you realize how he obtained the helmet and the story instantly changes moods.

Another story that I enjoyed reading was The Drama Bug by David Sedaris. This story was refreshing, it was comical throughout and had great voice. Although it was a longer reading, the light comedy and the dialog kept me entertained. From this story I want to take the dialogue. It had such interesting dialogue that kept me interested in what was going on in the story. It also added a sense of personalization, It made me feel like I knew the characters, this is something I need in my blogs.

The Three Fragments, became two.

“I told him, but does Blake ever listen? Noooo!” My friend Tom was once again reciting one of the many stories he holds so dear to his heart. This time, it was a story about this one girl that I admittedly shouldn’t have gone out with. “Remember Blake, I said she must have herpes or something! What did I say!” Every single time he tells this dumb story I always receive a lecture about how ‘stupid’ I was. Tom thinks he knows the whole story, he thinks I told him everything; little does he know, he knows nothing except the bare shell of what really went down.

After a bad break up, I went bowling with a couple of friends, who in turn invited more friends. One of them was named Herpes. (Not really but I don’t like to say her real name.) She was a short, skinny, blonde girl who by an average judgment was pretty good looking. After bowling, me and her talked for a little bit. It was refreshing, someone who actually liked the bands I liked, and who loved just doing random things for fun. Afterwards she gave me her number and told me to call. Her number was burning a hole in my phone. I so badly wanted to text or call her, but thought if I waited a couple of days she might like me even more. It was horrible logic, but it worked. We went out on a couple of dates, all in all everything was going well. Every time I looked at her I just thought that Tom must be wrong. Then on one date I noticed she was texting another guy. It didn’t bother me though, who knows maybe it’s her friend, maybe she’s dating more then one person, it didn’t matter because I was with her at that second. I was wrong, it did matter though that she kept doing it, rejecting me when I was in her presence! I was very disgruntled, I had to end! I absolutely hate it when people are disrespectful towards me. I couldn’t stand to think that someone was just using me. I remember this conversation very well, it was so oblique and depressing. There was one phrase she used that I could never forget. “All the other guys don’t mind, they know what I’m doing.” After that it was pretty easy to break up with her.

The next day I received a phone call from my friend Tom. “ Blake! Remember when I told you she probably has herpes! Well guess what!” There was no need for an answer, it was quite obvious. Fortunate for myself, aware that she was doing something fishy, I never did anything with her.

“OH! Blake remember Leah!” Tom was at it again, telling stories embarrassing stories about me, but this story crossed the line. It was the most embarrassing story about me and my ex-girlfriend, and Tom was about to reveal it to my new girlfriend Alyssa.
“Tom, I swear to God! Not one more word!” I threatened, but it didn’t make a difference.
“You see he use to have a girlfriend by the name of Leah….” Tom started his story, time was running short, I had to do something. In a state of panic I did the only thing that came to mind. I ran across the room as fast as I could, my veins were sticking out, adrenaline rushing through my body, I was going to stop him. With one great leap I thrust Tom to the floor.
“Not one more word!” He looked at me and instantly knew he crossed the line.
“Maybe I’ll tell this one a little later.” As I let him off the floor, I new it would only be time before he attempted to tell this story again.