It was my first night of playing ultimate Frisbee at the park with a bunch of guys. When I first came, I told myself that it would be a piece of cake, but I was wrong. Guarding my girlfriend Alyssa became quite the challenge, unfortunately her secret competitive side was showing that particular night, and I was trying not to be to rough with her. The score came down to 11-11, and it ends when a team reaches 13. It was kick off, the opposing team was throwing, and wincing off in the night sky I spotted the shimmering light up Frisbee gliding through the air. Landing a couple feet behind me I let my teammate pick it up, I rushed down the field in a rush.
“Bro, right here man!” I yelled, as I saw him hover the Frisbee in my direction. My adrenaline was rushing, I could feel the sweat dripping from my brow as I sprinted toward the Frisbee. When I came within a foot I reached out my hand hoping that I could somehow manage to save the catch, it brushed across my finger tips.
He had it, there was nothing I could do to stop him. As Blake ran toward the Frisbee, he reached out his hand and it was over, touchdown.
“Good job, this time.” I said sarcastically, “next time I won’t let you get by me.”
“Ha, right! Try to keep up.” When competing Blake can sometimes become a jerk. I wasn’t going to let that keep me down the, they were throwing off and it was my turn for offense. 3, 2, 1, the Frisbee was thrown as I ran down to mid field. I could see the light of the Frisbee making its way up, person to person, small passes was the way my team played, and it was coming straight for me. I looked around to check where Blake was, and couldn’t find him, so I went for it. Swiftly maneuvered my way toward the Frisbee but it turned angles and was heading toward the ground. Trying to be quick on my feet I dove for it, and when I stood up my hands trembled when I realized I caught it.
The catch by Alyssa was amazing, her first time playing and she actually dove for the Frisbee. I invited Alyssa and Blake for a couple of weeks now, and every time Alyssa would answer, “Next week ill defiantly come!” I’m glad she did, we were one point down and she made a caught that I’m sure no one would of made. I ran down the field going to the long pass, hoping Alyssa would see me.
“Eric!” Alyssa screamed, I turned around to find the Frisbee heading strait towards me.
“I got it!” or at least I thought, the guy who has been covering me is extremely fast, I mean cheetah speed., he knocked it down right in front of my face.
I saw that Bro had stolen the disk from Eric, so once again I made my way down field. I felt like someone punched me in the stomach, every step hurt my lungs, I was getting out of shape. As I turned towards Bro I saw the Frisbee drift right pass my head. At that instant, I hoping to God that I didn’t miss the game winning throw. As I looked toward where the Frisbee would go I realized it was to another guy further down the field, he caught it. My first game of ultimate Frisbee and I had already beat my girlfriend.
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I think you made a very good move in choosing a sporting activity as the topic for this type of essay. The action of the scene lends itself to multiple voices and perspectives and you convey the situation pretty clearly through all of those many voices. I like that you used the frisbee itself as the catalyst for each change in voice. Every time someone makes a catch you switch to a new perspective. It's an effective and interesting strategy. I really enjoyed your post.
ReplyDeleteBlake,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this post.
You transitioned between each perspective really smoothly by using the same tie to kind of separate each voice. I like all the characters you incorporated and the way you described the intensity and the emotion in the game.
Great job overall, keep up the good work!