Ali and Diana

To Ali-

I enjoyed reading your blogs. I read your about me section first and I thought to myself that your blogs would be an interesting read, I myself enjoy comedy very much. After reading your first blogs it seemed like you were trying a little too hard to make it comedical. (I think I made up that word, but it works.) That was until I read your "Stopped Short" blog post. The punchline at the end was pretty funny, and I didn't expect it until halfway through the last story. I give you major props for that story, it's defiantly in my top three. Then I read your "360" story, that became my favorite story of yours. The perspective you used, making your 360 a puppy/girlfriend was pretty funny, and how it wanted you to switch to high def at the end...great stuff. After those stories I pretty much enjoyed the rest of the stories, very light and funny.

There is one error that you have throughout your blogs. I often fall for this error too, so its not that big of a deal. You tend to you more then one tense when writing a story. One minute you'll be talking like your there and the next is like it was an event in the past. You just have to keep an eye out for that. Also, near the end of your blog you seemed to be destracted and not post some of the post. I enjoyed your stories, so you shouldn't have skipped them.

I think you did a great job in developing your humor, and your grammar also developed more throughout the class.


To Diana-

First I have to start off by saying that you are brave for volenteering at the hospital. I'm not sure how much patient contact you have, but sick, hurt, and the old are not that pleasant to be around, yet you keep such a happy demenor about it. I enjoyed your blogs, how you started off wanting to express yourself more. After reading a couple of blogs I could tell that you started to open up a bit more, especially in "Spending Time with Papi". This was such a warm story, you opened up quite a bit.

I also enjoyed the story "Eventually Took It's Toll." This story added just the right emotion, it was great. In the end I wanted to sit on the couch just to comfort it. It also brought back memories of my old couch that was recently discarded. The next story that I enjoyed was "Short Lived." It shows how much is on a college students mind, and how easy it is to be distracted. A little while after that I could tell that blog post became more homework and was put off a little. But all your stories were still good.

I think that you need to add more detail into your stories. You're good at explaining what is going on in a certain scene, but you sometimes leave out details. I think you should just add a touch more personality, like your final blog post had, and more descreption and you would be golden. It was a pleasure to read your blog post.